John 14:1

John 14:1

"Do Not let your hearts be troubled,

trust in God. Trust in Me"

My 'Final'ly

Tommorow is finals! it is here it is here. Never thought i will ever make it through this far. Am i stress up? honestly. a little tiny bit. but a giant biggie bit is excited that the end is near. LOL.
Tommorow equity and trust! i memorized the most for this. spend the most time on this friggin subject. So technical!.

Well, it is well with my soul. Tommorow is finals and i still can't believe it.what happens after finals? it will just bring a step closer to my end here in leeds. which means the final chapters of this blog will come to end soon. yeap this blog is meant for to chronicle my life in leeds. if im no longer in leeds. it ends here too.

anyway, still got few more months to come to such conclusions haha. tommorow is finals!!! i dunno how many times im repeating...but yea...its finals. the real one. the one where my honors counts. the one which determines if i deserve to wear the robes of leeds uni grad.

before goin off. i have this picture in my mind. actually its a t-shirt which samuel always wear in inti. with super XXL fonts on it! it says : When i Can't Cope. Jesus Offers Hope.

O Lord You have given hope to this hopeless Ben. Thank You so much Lord.

okay. gtg sleep now and wakey early for one more round to refresh...before exam. argh i hate morning exams.

Boob Squad and Bouncy castles

Im in the bouncy castle
bounce boune bounce
Women gladiators
i lost to linda! embarrasing i know. i can't stand properly on the platform
this is just right before i falldown and hear everybody cheering for linda

the emo ness in me has arrive. haha . actually not emo-ness. just thinking of wonderful the blessings God have given past present and future. one of the bestest blessings God has always bless me with is -Friends! When i was in inti last two years. i felt really awkward being one of the four only guys in the class. in the second year it went worse. two of my close classmate guy friends left and hav to repeat a sem. leavin me alone. but that time i didnt felt so bad d. cos one year in class already. anyways. i decided to hav a break from lookin at all the boring books today and blog a little about my good good classmates in inti. Being the only guy in most of their outings and lepak times, is super awkward. its no fun thing. trust me. the unnecessary stares, etc. But after a while, didnt really care about it.

Below here this photo is a photo of the four gurls that make my life crazy. they are insane. totally insane. they sing wherever they go. they scream at anything. they was even once they did the worst prank ever, by putting baby pillows under their shirts and ask me to walk out with them at night at inti. The sight of a guy with three gurls with large pregnant belly attracts UNNECESSARY stares and attention. haha. but it was a memorable night for me. They are also my kaki joggers. well , they only join in after i jog till i wanna die. they help me lots in my studies. they are the four brightest students in my class. their results unbelievable and their study life is even more unbelievable. it makes me believe in the existence of geniuses who dont need to study and paying attention in class is enuff.They also care for their friends really well, i remember them takin me out with them lepaking at kl city when im down and feelin emo.they know what happen to me most of the time. and they support the most in helpin me recover from a silly wound of my foolishness. Siawwan,lin, navee and jo. now they are all over england in different unis. different plans. i will never forget God's blessed friendship i have with them.

oh and this photo below is inti official llb 2005 batch. i take up the most space in this picture.lol. they use this paper for the Star Education newspaper center page!
Again another picture of all us , on law farewell night


Today, lupton have this carnival called lupton fun day. it is in the lupton campus. we have bouncy castles, gladiator stuff, discos at night, and picnics everywhere. and food!!! yes free food! and ice cream on this hot and sunny weather.i didnt spend much time enjoyin all they provide today. i only sacrifice 3hours of my time today for it. It was fun. a great way of de-stressing. its spring do you expect. everyday the people in lupton just have fun fun fun even though exams is next week. haha actually can say 90% of its residents are freshers. and freshers to me are like a whole different breed of humans. Freshers = XXL Party Animals and Booze-Consumers. yawns. i wanna sleep now. i have been sleeping at 10pm the most everyday and wakin up at 5-6am everyday. i love this habit. i feel so fullfilled everyday.

here i leave you guys with some pictures of lupton fun day( its at the top) dunno why they dont appear right below here.

I can never multitask

Arggghhhh.....im am sooooooooooooooooooo frus!!!!!

i said yes to my friend last week for a road trip to lake district from 10-16th june. and i forgotten that im goin to paris from 7-14of june! argghh...clash! and now only i know. so teruk so terul.

i havent done any flight booking yet
i havent done any accomodation /househunting yet
i havent done any job searching yet
i havent decide/or have a rough plan of what i want to do after graduation yet

i cant do any of those things, better yet cant afford to think of them. if i do. my studies concetration will go crazy.

Conclusion: Ben CAN'T multitask when exams is near. Ben can't do any other thinking besides studying thinking when exam is near. Ben is a sucker in decision-making or evaluating when exam is near.Im a pure masculine male breed who cant multitask.


* actually i know that many years ago. i just feel frus. that i made the same mistake again.feel frus that i cant go to lake district , ish , so much of all the hype, i hate temporary hypes, really really potong steam.*

Spiritual biscuit

i have just submitted my dissertation today. it is so thick. im amazed at my own work actually. i have never produced such a thick written work before in my life.50 pages! i hate writting. i never enjoy writting. But as the years went by, i grew to like it and realised how wonderful your work can be when u have complete it with such long research ( a years long). i have submitted two assignments and a dissertation. all complete. whats left now is just pure studying. God is so good. he is faithful to me in my study time. He gives me the peace i need. He gives me the understanding when im so despreate. He give me the company i need when im just all tired. He gives me the open doors to share even in crucial exams times as this. He provided a great spiritual family to keep me accountable. He provide a goodhousemate pris who cooks nice meals. He guides me in whats important for exams. He provides the strenght i need to carry on. he extent the time which i need to complete my days revision.

When i woke up this morning. i breathed. i dont have to think twice whether there was oxygen. I cant see oxygen or even smell it. But i know its there. Sometimes i feel Jesus is like the oxygen i breathe. He is there always. i dont have to think twice if he is there or not. though i dont see Him my physical eyes. i know He is there. the same way i know oxygen is there. Besides that Jesus is like oxygen. It's not just nice to have Him in my life, he's essential in my life. He is life. Whether others accept it or not. it is still truth.

when im always ask by anybody how i know God is here. how i know God is in our midst. my illustration would be the oxygen illustration. i was reminded of this again when i found out that the author of the book "taming the tiger", tony anthony had the same oxygen illustration too.

Thats how i feel God is in my study time alone in the quiet lupton kitchen. He is around. i dont see Him but i know he is watching me studying. probably leaving every priority he has to do in heaven aside so that He can just be with me. To give me the peace and support i need in my studying time.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 2 Corinthians 4:16

Isnt God's word amazing? though outwardly im wasting away. wasting away from the lack of sleep and the many readings squeezed into my head. inwardly im being renewed everyday. woh. i guess that explains the msytery why i keep going.

Thank you Lord. for ever being so true in my life.

Linda's sick yday night. she was puking and all. i was given the opportunity to share Gods love. the feeling is really wonderful. She havent heard of panadol before.lol. i think panadol shall be a malaysian thing. she felt better the today and compliment that the panadol brought quicker healing than the painkiller she took the whole afternnoon. But in my mind i know its the prayer, that God heard. Praise God that shes better. and most importantly for the open opportunity before me.

Sundays message was about the beautitudes. Blessed are the merciful for they will be shown mercy. thak you God for u r so merciful so many times. no matter how many times i ask for ur mercy. your mercy is always there.